Decoding Adulthood: Testing Childhood Assumptions

The Weapons of Modern Survival

As our children go out into the world we don't expect them to do so with bows and arrows, but armed with courage, resilience and self-reliance instead. With a mix of empathy, kindness and humility. The list is obviously not exhaustive but it covers the bases.

Whether we like to or not, we are competing all the time. We are competing for land, houses, food, jobs, husbands, girlfriends. Every loving parent would want they're own kids to be fully and optimally-equipped with the necessary tools to navigate the terrain ahead of them.

Even if you are to live as a hermit in the wilderness, chances are that the piece of land you want to live off of by hunting squirrels and birds and eating wild berries is owned by someone.

That being the case, some negotiation will be required to convince the responsible authority that all you want to do is forage off the land. Even if you arbitrarily decide to pitch your tent in some remote area, you will eventually encounter someone, some day.

That person's intentions can swing either way. If they want to do you harm they might not be initially aggressive. They might attempt to lull you into a false sense of security and then do their worst when you're relaxed. Hence, we can't escape the need to be able to read people and suss them out.

The Domino Effect of False Assumptions

Growing up under someone else's roof, your parents' for most people, does not permit for the assumptions we all make about life as kids to be adequately tested. This process of testing happens as we begin to crossover into adulthood.

I vividly remember, over my 18 to 25 year old span, many of the suppositions I had accumulated in my adolescence falling like dominoes through the practical realization that they were inapplicable in the real world.

Premises that had been gathered through popular television shows, music and fantasy books did not seem to compute out in the real world.

The Price of Naivety: Lessons Learned Through Experience

As a boy I was given the impression that if you shower a woman with attention and gifts and chivalry (basically fawning over her), you will sweep her off her feet and she will devote her undying love to you. It hardly ever worked out that way. Needless to say, the results tended to go in the opposite direction.

I also adopted the belief that in business if you are honest and hard-working and industrious, your business partners will be inspired by those virtues and become dedicated to seeing the business thrive for the good of all its contributors.

Yet again, in my early ventures, it didn't pan out the way I had hoped. And it only worked out in my later ventures because of the lessons I had learnt from being scorched.

On prize-giving day at our kids' schools, when they get first prize (after out-competing the other 30 students in their class or category), we are filled with a sense of pride and joy.

We are happy because this is an indicator that our child will very likely make it in life. It's a sign that when we are too old to take care of them, or when we are no longer around, they will be okay.

Your Role as a Parent (or Mentor)

So what am I aiming at in this discourse? I’m aiming at the immense responsibility parents and caregivers bear in preparing children to thrive—not just survive—in a fast-changing world.

Between Monday and Friday this newsletter will speak to parents on the unique challenges and opportunities involved in raising children.

Fridays will be reserved for helping parents and caregivers understand the role of artificial intelligence in their children’s lives—what it means today, where it’s heading, and how we can future-proof our kids.

This is not a summary newsletter; it’s a personal, thoughtful exploration of ideas drawn from developmental psychology and parenting research, filtered through lived experience.

My hope is that whether you're a parent, guardian, mentor, or simply someone who cares deeply about the next generation, you'll find practical and inspiring insights here.

It is that our kids—whether sons, daughters, nieces, nephews, or young siblings—can surpass us in every conceivable way. And with the right input now in their formative years they can.

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Want to go deeper? Starting tomorrow, I’ll be drawing on powerful ideas from The Whole-Brain Child—a book for parents of 0 – 12-year-olds that explores how to nurture a child’s developing brain through principles like integrating implicit and explicit memories, or calming the ‘downstairs brain’ before reasoning with the ‘upstairs brain’.

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