The Journey to Adulthood: Are We Preparing Our Children Adequately?

The Illusion of Childhood Dreams vs. Adult Realities

Little kids dream about growing up and becoming engineers, nurses, firefighters, amongst many professions. They have the richest of imaginations and dream of being the heroes of their own stories.

As we mature into adolescence we start to build our own perspective of the world. We make assumptions about how the world works: what it takes to be popular, how to attract a partner, how easy it is to become rich, and how trustworthy people are.

But something extraordinary happens as we morph into adults – or rather, as we are thrust into adulthood. The speculations we held as facts are tested in the crucible, upon which we discover that most of them were wrong. The metamorphosis for most occurs at the conventional period between 18 and 21 years of age as they're leaving home to go to university or work.

Many others are not as fortunate though, as they experience life as orphans or with dead-beat parents who don't see value in taking care of their offspring. This latter group tend to enter grown-up life much earlier than they should.

The Shifting Sands of Adulthood: A Historical Perspective

As I was writing the previous statement, I thought to myself, “but that's just your opinion”. Truth is, the only facts from the previous paragraph ended before its last statement. While we often consider 18 the official start of adulthood, that idea hasn’t always held true. Ancient cultures had very different views:

• Jewish boys celebrate Bar Mitzvah at 13, stepping into manhood.

• The Maasai in Kenya and Tanzania initiate boys through Emuratare, marking them as warriors, with all the responsibility that title brings.

• Aztec boys began formal adulthood training at 13–15, and Spartan boys entered the Agoge by age 7, undergoing intense warrior education by 14.

• With ancient Spartans in Greece, boys entered the Agoge at 7, but by 13–14, they underwent intense military training, marking the start of their path to warrior status.

Unfortunately for girls, the early transition into womanhood many times involves either mutilation through female circumcision or through abuse as they're married off before they have the ability to comprehend what they're getting into.

My point is these varied methods of passage should make us think deeper as to what the right amount of responsibility a child should be given is, and the age at which the burdening should occur. Which group of people gets or got it right?

Who has or had the right balance? And why as parents should we care about this? We should care because we are not raising our kids to be our best friends. Rather, we are training them in preparation for the rigours of adulthood.

Life Is a Battlefield—Are Your Kids Ready?

There is no corner or crevice in this world that you can run to and hide in where there isn't some form of competition. The resources on earth are finite. The products we create are built with finite resources.

Therefore we have to compete against the other 7-point-whatever billion human beings there are on this planet. The things we buy are the price that they are because other people want them. What are the things you can get for free? The ones no one wants.

Customers tend to be suspicious of items with a price tag that appears much lower than their perceived value. If it's something many other people would want to own, but it's being given away at a knocked down price, you will think it was either stolen, or has expired, or is bust.

Ultimately, parenting is about preparing your children for battle — not necessarily with physical weapons, but with wisdom, resilience, and self-awareness. Life presents countless challenges, many of which involve navigating relationships with others. And while the battles aren't always hostile, they are real. We're actually not so different from the Maasai, the Aztecs, or the Spartans — only the weapons have changed. Ours are forged in the mind and heart.

Call to Action

What are your thoughts on when—and how—children should be introduced to the responsibilities of adulthood? I'd love to hear your insights or personal experiences—just hit reply to this email or go to the comment section if reading from our website!